


Reciprocal Therapy

by FoolishHalo



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Decisions, Endgame Shikamaru/Sakura, Eventual Romance, F/M, Happy Ending, Independent Sakura, Infidelity, Ino's a Good Bro, Light Angst, Past Sakura/Sasuke, Romance, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, Temporary Shikamaru/Temari, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-07 01:37:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14660631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoolishHalo/pseuds/FoolishHalo
Summary: Sakura and Shikamaru make a stupid decision after running into each other during a night out. The next day they both agree to pretend it never happened. It turns out, however, that it's not so easy to leave the past behind, especially when the consequences of that night are more far reaching than either of them could have anticipated.





	1. Chapter 1

Sakura stared down at the bottle, eyes glazed and heart heavy. The alcohol that was burning through her veins wasn't doing anything to make her forget the scene she'd walked in on earlier that evening.

Sasuke, slouched down on their couch, eyes half-lidded and head tipped back, watching the woman wearing a silver cocktail dress as she rode him. She’d been gorgeous, with jet black hair and large breasts spilling out of her top, which had been tugged beneath her bust, pushing them up so that her nipples were close to brushing his lips every time she moved. Her waist had been tiny, and his hands had been resting on her thighs, just below where the fabric of her skirt was pushed up.

She’d been bouncing up and down, making loud cries that had sounded fake to Sakura, but then she’d never pretended during sex, so what did she know?

Sasuke’s clothes had still been mostly on, only the top few buttons of his shirt undone, the fly of his pants open to free his dick. His lips had been red and he’d been making low sounds of pleasure that he never made when he was making love to Sakura.

It had taken Sakura a good ten seconds before she recognized the woman as one of the interns at the hospital. Sakura had taken pity on her one day and spent half an hour patiently teaching her how to intubate a patient so that Tsunade wouldn’t lecture her during rounds next time.

Now the girl was paying her back by fucking her fiancé. Sakura was never helping out one of the interns again. It was all she could do not to go to the hospital, look up the woman’s name and home address, and then go and smash her house into rubble with one fist - a reminder to the girl of just who she was messing with.

Instead, she’d stumbled into the first bar she could find and asked for a full bottle of sake to herself. Now she was sitting on a stool, staring down at the wood of the bar and wondering if all those years she’d waited for Sasuke had been a waste. If the past two years of patiently helping him deal with the plethora of emotional issues he’d stacked up, one on top of the other until it was a tower that stretched into the sky without end, had been a futile effort.

“God, who am I kidding. Of course it was.”

“Talking to yourself, forehead?”

Sakura closed her eyes and cursed her luck. Of course this would be the random bar Ino decided to walk into on a Friday night. She picked up the sake bottle and took a few fortifying gulps.

“What are you doing here by yourself in your fuck me heels?” Ino continued, voice slurring in a way that Sakura knew meant she was also well on her way to being smashed. “Waiting for Sasuke?”

“Nah,” Sakura said before she could think better of it. “He’s probably still busy fucking one of Tsunade's interns on his couch.”

There was silence, and Sakura decided she may as well enjoy Ino’s rarely used but always amusing fish-out-of-water expression. She spun the stool around, then groaned when she saw that Ino wasn’t alone. Shikamaru and Chouji stood with her, both looking immensely uncomfortable.

“Great, witnesses to my pain and humiliation. Welcome,” she said, and spread her arms to encompass the bar, “to the place where dreams go to die.”

Ino’s mouth snapped shut, and her eyes narrowed.

“Please tell me you’re joking,” she said in a flat tone while Shikamaru stared down at the beer bottle in his hand and Chouji shifted from one foot to another.

“Nope,” Sakura said. “I went over there to surprise him, since we’ve barely seen each other the past month. Walked in and there they were, going at it on the couch.”

 _“No,”_ Ino said, and Sakura felt a little better when her friend’s expression darkened.

“Oh, yes.”

“That bastard! After everything he’s put you through, and all the shit you’ve put up with from him for the past few years.”

“Yeah, well. That’s what you get for deciding to date an ex-convict,” Sakura said.

“I’m going to scramble his brains,” Ino said. “And then I’m going to show him what we learned in kunoichi lesson number one hundred and sixty.”

Sakura couldn’t stop her evil grin, and Shikamaru and Chouji looked both curious and afraid.

“How could I have forgotten lesson one hundred and sixty? That was Madame Crane’s favorite. I didn’t even realize it was anatomically possible to do that to somebody until that day.”

“Do I even want to know what lesson one hundred and sixty is?” Shikamaru drawled.

“No,” Ino and Sakura both said at once, then broke down into giggles, though Sakura’s sounded a little hysterical even to her own ears.

“Well, that settles it. You’re drinking with us tonight!” Ino said, and pumped a fist into the air.

Sakura glanced at Shikamaru and Chouji to see how they felt about the change in plans. Shikamaru just shrugged, and Chouji gave her a kind smile.

“Bartender! We’re gonna need some more sake!” Ino yelled, and slapped down a large amount of money on the bar.

“Did he see you?” Ino asked from across the booth an indeterminate amount of time later in a voice so slurred that it was difficult to understand her.

Sakura remembered how Sasuke’s eyes had opened all the way as he came, and how they’d gone impossibly wide when he’d spotted her standing in the doorway, arms limp at her sides, watching him as he pissed their life away because he wanted to get his dick wet.

“Oh yeah,” Sakura said, then snorted as she swayed to the side.

Shikamaru’s shoulder kept her from tipping over, but he didn’t move from where he was slouched down, eyelids heavy and gaze unfocused. She giggled, then reached up to poke his cheek.

“Hey,” he grumbled, taking two tries before he was able to grab her hand and pull it back down to the bench they were seated on.

“Well, what did he say?” Ino asked.

“Nothing,” Sakura said, distracted by the rough calluses on his fingers.

She smoothed her finger over one, and he turned his hand to give her better access as she set about comparing each patch of hardened skin against the others. She knew he used trench knives, and was suddenly fascinated with the patterns of texture they had etched into Shikamaru’s long, delicate-looking fingers.

“Nothing? How could he say nothing?” Ino screeched, leaning forward and slapping the table.

Next to her Chouji stirred from his alcohol-induced haze, then reached up and patted her shoulder, slurring out something reassuring.

“Well, he was coming at the time, so.”

Was that a scar on the palm of Shikamaru’s hand? Her fingers trailed lightly along the line of raised tissue, which extended all the way to the soft inner skin of his wrist. Next to her he shivered, and she wondered if he was ticklish.

“Oh, _gross,”_ Ino said, then burst into laughter.

After a moment Sakura joined her. The whole thing did seem pretty funny, now that she thought about it through the haze of inebriation.

“Oh god, you should have seen his face,” she said through her giggles. “He was so shocked, but at the same time he was mid-load-blowing, so it was like -”

She twisted her face into a mimicry of Sasuke’s constipated slash coming face, and their mirth increased until both had tears in their eyes.

“And - and the whole time he’s having this realization that his girlfriend just walked in,” she gasped out as she tried to breath through her merriment, “the intern is bouncing up and down and making the most ridiculous noises.

“I mean, somebody needs to tell her that’s not what women actually sound like when they’re coming. It was so unbelievable, but of course the arrogant idiot had no idea she was faking it,” Sakura said, and Ino buried her face in her arms on the table as her body shook with hilarity.

“You - you have to do them. I need to know what she sounded like, Sakura. Like, the need is real, you know?” Ino slurred.

Sakura leaned back in thought, sliding her fingers lightly up Shikamaru’s palm and to the pads of his fingers as she did so. He had turned his head towards her and was watching her with interest, too, and Sakura felt compelled to give into the question in his eyes.

“Oh, Sasuke,” she said in a high pitched, breathy voice. “You’re so good. Oh, oh god, your cock feels so good in me! Yes, yes, yes, yes!” She flung her free arm out as she screamed the last two _yeses_ , and ended up smacking a passing waiter in the arm. He fumbled the drinks on the tray before catching himself and turning a glare on her.

“Whoops, sorry,” she said, and collapsed against Shikamaru in a fit of giggles, whose brow had gone up at her display.

She felt weirdly proud of herself when she caught a hint of amusement in his expression, and laced their fingers together. He didn’t pull his hand away from her, or tell her to move as she buried her face in his shoulder and breathed deeply. He smelled good, like mint and tobacco.

“Oh god, I can’t believe how late it is,” Ino groaned into her arms. “I have to work in the morning. We were just going to go out for one beer, since Shikamaru was sulking over his girlfriend blowing him off again.”

“I wasn’t sulking,” Shikamaru grumbled, and Sakura leaned back to study his face.

“Oh god, he’s sulking right now,” Sakura said with a giggle, and Ino fell back on her butt from where she’d been struggling to stand as she pointed at Shikamaru and laughed.

“Alright, alright, let’s get you home,” Chouji said patiently as Shikamaru glared at Ino.

“Piggyback ride!” Ino cheered, and Chouji sighed even as a tolerant smile crossed his face.

Sakura laughed and tugged on Shikamaru’s hand. “Piggyback ride! God, that’s so perfect,” she said.

“Shut it, forehead,” Ino said cheerfully.

She had managed to stand with Chouji’s help, and leaned over to give Sakura a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

“You know I’m here for you. If you need to talk, or shop, or, you know, need help hiding the body. Shika’s good at body-hiding,” she declared, and Shikamaru sighed.

“You’ll get Sakura home?” Chouji asked, and he slumped down further.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll make sure she gets home alright,” he agreed.

Sakura sent him a doubtful look. He was just as drunk as she was - she highly doubted he’d be of much use if it came down to a fight.

“Yeah, you’d better make sure nobody takes advantage of our Sakura. She’s looking hot in that dress,” Ino said, and wiggled her hips as Chouji attempted to direct her out of the bar.

“Yeah, shake it!” Sakura yelled, and whooped as Ino turned around put her arms into the air, moving her hips in a figure eight pattern that had half the men in the room looking on with interest.

“Troublesome,” Shikamaru grumbled as he glowered at a man who let out a wolf whistle.

Sakura grinned at him. “Aw, you’re like an overprotective big brother.”

He huffed, and she shivered as he ran a thumb over the top of her hand.

“I am not. I just hate having to deal with her admirers following her around. They don’t even know her, they shouldn’t be ogling her.”

His frown deepened, and she let out a delighted laugh. “Ino’s right, you really are a sweetie at heart.”

He looked so scandalized that she leaned against him and gave him a loud kiss on the cheek. He blinked at her and she smiled, feeling warm and giddy.

“So. Ino said something about girl troubles?” Sakura asked as she poured them both more sake.

Shikamaru just shrugged and picked up the cup. “Ino talks too much.”

“Ha! Tell me something I didn’t know,” Sakura said, and clunked her cup against his before bringing it to her mouth and downing the contents.

She had passed pleasantly floaty some time ago, and was now into full-on drunk mode. Her face was tingly, and there were goosebumps traveling up her arm from where Shikamaru was still holding her hand. The contact was comforting, and was making the warmth in her chest grow.

“So, come on. I just told you all my relationship issues, it’s your turn.”

“Hardly,” Shikamaru drawled, and filled their cups again. “You told me the result of your relationship issues, not the issues themselves.”

Sakura blinked as she parsed through his statement.

“Huh. Fair enough,” she said, and gave a determined nod before turning to face him, pulling a knee up onto the bench.

His eyes darted down to where the hem of her red dress had slipped up to reveal most of one thigh, but she was in too much of a good mood to mind. Sakura didn’t care about much of anything at the moment, actually.

“Okay. I’ll tell you my issues, and you tell me yours. It’ll be like - like - reciprocal therapy!” she declared proudly.

He chuckled and turned towards her, mimicking her position and leaning forward. In the background Sakura could hear the other patrons of the bar talking over the low music, along with the clink of glasses and the sound of somebody in heels walking past their table, but she ignored it all in favor of taking in Shikamaru’s face.

“Huh,” she said, and reached out with her free hand to lightly touch an earing.

He raised an eyebrow, but didn’t move to stop her. “You’re actually kind of sexy, did you know that?”

His other brow went up. “You really are drunk,” he said, voice amused.

Sakura shook her head. “No, no, no. Well, yes, actually. But that’s not why I said that. I said it cause it’s true. Even Ino agrees. We talked about it once.”

Shikamaru looked horrified, and she threw her head back and laughed. “She’d be so upset if she knew that was your reaction. No, no, she said it in the way you’d talk about family. Like ‘I can’t believe the lazy ass actually turned out to be semi-good looking.’”

“Well thank god for that,” he muttered, but she kept talking over him.

“You’ve got this kind of bad boy look about you, did you know? You’re always slouching around, with your earrings and your black clothes and your eyeliner. If I were Temari, I’d want to fuck you every chance I got,” she said loudly, and he covered his eyes with one hand and sighed at the cat calls that filled the bar at her proclamation.

“No, no, listen to me,” she said, tugged on him where their hands were still connected and giggling.

He dropped his hand and shook his head.

“Alright, alright, calm down, woman,” he said, but his lips were turned up into a half smile, and Sakura’s heart thumped an uneven staccato in her chest.

“Right. Therapy,” she said, even as her eyes remained glued on his smile.

“Therapy,” he agreed.

“So. Issues. Hmm. Well, we haven’t had sex in over a month. I like to say it’s because we’re both so busy, but it’s actually because he can’t make me come, and I don’t fake it, and it hurts his manly pride,” she said with a shrug, and his eyes widened.

“Well, that was blunt,” he said, and tapped the fingers of his free hand on the table. “What is it? Are you not attracted to him? Is he just bad at it?”

Sakura shrugged. “I don’t know. I was attracted to him at first, but the way he does it...it’s like it’s a mission or something. The way he looked with that girl...he’s never made that face with me,” she said, and something in her twisted as her good feelings faded a bit.

“Hey,” Shikamaru said, and one of his fingers tipped her chin up, and she was distracted again by the texture of it. “If he isn’t turned on by you, he’s an idiot. You’re smart and dedicated and gorgeous. Half the village would give their right eye just to have a go with you.”

Sakura blushed and bit her lip, and felt another flare of heat in her stomach as she met his gaze. It was a freeing sensation, even as she recognized that it wouldn’t go anywhere. Shikamaru had a girlfriend, even if Sakura’s own relationship had just imploded, leaving her free to do what she wanted with who she wanted.

She cleared her throat, and he dropped his hand. “Right. Well. He’s always in a bad mood. And that puts me in a bad mood, and then, well. We’re always in a bad mood.”

He chuckled. “Eloquent.”

“Yeah, well. It seems like the only time we get along is when we’re working. Then it’s like we’re teammates instead of two people who are supposed to be in love.”

“Maybe you’re not in love,” Shikamaru said with a shrug as he leaned over to refill his cup.

Sakura’s jaw dropped open as his words clicked something into place in her mind.

“Oh my god. Shikamaru, you’re a genius!”

He side-eyed her even as he smiled. “I may have heard that once or twice.”

“No, but. You’re exactly right. We’re not in love. I mean, I love him, but. We’re not _in love.”_

She sat back, mind reeling from alcohol and her revelation. After a moment she shook her head. She’d consider the impact of her realization later. Right now she had other things to focus on.

“Alright. Your turn.”

He sighed and slumped back, then took a large gulp of sake.

“Alright. Well. When Temari and I are together, it’s pretty good,” he said with a shrug. “But we’re hardly ever together. And when we are, it’s because I’ve made it work. She almost always cancels when it’s her turn to make the journey.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “She’s got other priorities, I guess.”

Sakura hummed. “Well, that doesn’t sound very fair. It’s not like you don’t have just as much going on. You’re the future head of your clan, and an advisor to the Hokage.”

“Yeah.” He shifted, and she tightened her hold on his hand in support, then hiccupped.

She was back to feeling floaty and happy, as though she hadn’t just walked in on somebody she cared for betraying her a few hours ago.

“I know she cares, and that eventually she’ll be the one moving here if we decide to marry, so I shouldn’t complain about her wanting to spend extra time in her village. I just...miss her, and I’m not sure she misses me back.”

He scowled down at his cup, and Sakura bit her lip.

“I’m sure that’s not true. I think you’re right, and she’s probably just trying to spend as much time with her brothers as she can.”

He smiled at her, and she impulsively leaned forward and kissed his cheek again. His skin was soft under her lips, and she lingered longer than she meant to. His breath hitched, and she pulled back slowly.

Their gazes met, and she swallowed when his seemed to bore into her own with an intensity that had her underwear going damp and the back of her neck breaking out into a light sweat. Shit, she had to get out of there.

She turned and scrambled out of the booth, letting go of his hand as she did so. She staggered a bit before catching her balance.

“I need some air,” she said, avoiding looking over at him and ignoring the way her hand felt cold without his wrapped around it.

“Alright,” he said after a pause. “I should be getting home, anyway. I’ll walk you to your apartment. You live close, right?”

Her chest tightened. “I’m not - I can’t go home,” she said as he stood and put a hand under her elbow. “He might be there, and I can’t face him yet. Not like this.”

Shikamaru studied her, and she hoped she didn’t look as pathetic as she felt. Finally, he sighed and ran a hand over the top of his head, looking to the side.

“Alright,” he said, seeming to come to a decision. “Alright. You can sleep on my couch, if you want.”

Sakura sagged in relief. “Yes. Please. Thank you so much, Shikamaru. You really are a sweetheart.”

He rolled his eyes, then threw a large tip on the table amongst the empty bottles and puddles of sake.

“Come on. We’re going to be so hungover in the morning as it is.”

“Ugh, being hungover at the hospital sucks. Especially when you have to work with the girl you caught fucking your fiancé - oh, excuse me, I mean ex- fiancé - the night before.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I can see how that would be a bummer.”

She giggled and leaned against him as he led her out of the bar. His arm went around her to steady her, his hand going to her hip. It felt warm through the thin material of her dress, and she couldn’t help but enjoy the way her body clenched in desire. It had been so long since she’d wanted _anybody_ like this, and she decided to just enjoy the knowledge that she wasn’t actually incapable of feeling turned on anymore. That she wasn’t broken.

“I bet she feels pretty powerful,” Sakura said thoughtfully. “Snagging him right out from under her boss.”

“Maybe,” Shikamaru agreed as they stepped out into the cool night air.

It felt nice after being in the stuffy bar for so long, and she followed as he led her down the street.

“She’s young. Barely eighteen. I was mad at first, but...I don’t know, I get it. He’s got a presence, he pulls you in.”

Shikamaru hummed, and they turned down an empty street full of silent houses.

“You live around here?” she asked.

“Yeah. A few blocks down, then three over.”

“It’s nice.”

“Mm. My mom wouldn’t let me get something cheaper, even though it was closer to the tower.”

“Best to listen to moms when they get worked up,” Sakura said solemnly, and he laughed softly as his hand tightened on her hip.

She wondered idly if her thighs were going to start getting wet, as she was fairly certain she’d soaked through her lace panties.

“Why do you think I live here instead of closer to work?” he asked, tone wry, and she giggled.

They were silent as they turned down another street. The houses had more space between them, and there were only a few streetlights peppered up and down it. There was older growth there that signalled that it wasn’t one of the neighborhoods that had been taken out in Pein’s attack.

“Pretty,” she said, and he hummed his agreement.

Sakura broke away from him when she caught sight of a large flowering lilac bush lining the yard of a house with a For Sale sign out front. He sighed, but followed along behind her as she stuck her nose against one of the blooms and breathed deeply. She continued walking down the row, smelling the flowers.

“This is so nice,” she said. “There was one of these outside my window growing up, and I loved the way it smelled when they bloomed. It used to drive my dad crazy when I’d keep my window open at night, since I was on the first floor and he worried about intruders. But it was worth the risk to me.”

She smiled and turned to look up at Shikamaru, and her breath caught in her throat at how close he was. His head was tilted to the side, his face bathed in shadow, gaze piercing.

They both moved, and then his lips were smashing against her own. One hand tangled into her hair, and the other was pulling her against him at the small of her back. Her own arms went around his neck, and she stood on the balls of her feet and tipped her head back to give him better access as she opened her mouth under his.

He made a low noise in the back of his throat as his tongue slipped into her mouth, and her knees honest-to-god went weak, something that had never happened to her before. Only his grip on her and her arms around his neck kept her from melting into a puddle at his feet.

He was warm - so warm - and his body was firm against her own. She was distantly thankful that he wasn’t wearing a flak jacket, probably having taken it off at Ino’s insistence before going out for drinks, and moaned at the way her breasts rubbed against his chest. His grip tightened in her hair, and their kiss became frenzied. He pulled away and she made a small noise of protest, and then one of pleasure when his mouth found the sensitive spot behind her ear and sucked.

Her eyes widened and her hands went to his head, her mouth making a small O shape as her knees went weak again. The hand that had been on her waist moved down, smoothing over the fabric of her skirt to her bare thigh. It then tightened and moved back up, slipping under her dress, and she gasped when he straightened and hiked her leg up on his hip. She arched, and her skin flushed as pleasure twisted through her limbs when his erection pressed into the junction where groin met thigh.

He was kissing her again, and she writhed against him when he cupped one of her breasts through the fabric of her dress.

“Shikamaru,” she whispered against his lips, and he paused.

She whimpered when he let go of her thigh and brought his hand to his head, shaking it back and forth. His other moved to rest on her hip.

“I shouldn’t be doing this,” he said.

Sakura’s whole body was shaking with want, and she realized with dismay that she was about to be left unfulfilled. Without much thought, she grabbed the hand on her hip, and guided it around and under her dress.

His eyes were wide and his expression young in a way she hadn’t thought was possible for him anymore as he stared at her. Then his fingers brushed over the front of her panties and they both moaned. She clung to him as he slid them down without guidance from her.

“You’re so wet,” he whispered, voice rough.

She whimpered when he pushed the fabric of her underwear to the side and slipped two fingers into her. It felt amazing, and her hips twitched forward.

He moved his lips to trail up her neck, and her grip tightened on his shoulders when he started to move them in and out of her.

“Yeah, that's so hot,” he said against her skin when she started to move her hips in time with his thrusts.

Something gripped her low in her stomach at his praise, and Sakura spread her thighs as wide as she could while standing in heels. His answering groan made her feel distant, and the only thing that mattered was his hand between her legs. When his thumb came up and started to rub at her clit, she squeezed her eyes shut and turned her face into his neck while she panted. Pleasure was tightening at her spine, and she was so focused that she only distantly noted when his other hand came up and unzipped her dress.

It parted, and he pushed it down enough to reveal her breasts. For a moment she was reminded of the way the intern’s breasts had spilled over her dress into Sasuke’s face earlier that evening. Then Shikamaru leaned down and took a nipple in his mouth and all thoughts other than the way he was making her body taught with bliss faded. God, it was so good.

Her thighs were starting to tremble, and her whole body was tense, ready for her impending orgasm, when Shikamaru paused all movement and lifted his head. Sakura stared at his red lips and cheeks, at his eyes that were almost-black in the dim lighting, and his messy hair, and moved her hips so that she pressed up against his hand.

He sent her an amused look, and that’s when she heard it. Footsteps and laughter, coming from the other side of the bush. Sakura’s eyes widened in realization. They were still outside, his hand was between her legs, and her breasts were hanging out.

Before she could panic, he wrapped an arm around her waist, and the air whooshed past them. She made a small oofing noise when her back lightly collided with something, and she blinked rapidly to take in their change of location.

Sakura was pressed up against the side of the house in much the same position they’d been in before - Shikamaru was pushed up against her, and his fingers were still inside of her. A large tree cast a shadow over them, and she realized that while she could still see the road, nobody would be able to see them if they weren’t looking closely.

The footsteps and voices were getting closer, and she bit her lip and stared in the direction they were coming from. Shikamaru started to move his fingers again, and a small gasp escaped her lips as her still-sensitive clit sent waves of tingling pleasure up her spine, and the clench at her center came back full force.

“Shh,” he whispered into her ear. “Don’t want them to hear you, do you?”

She shivered at the way air stirred against the sensitive shell of her ear, then tipped her head back and bit her lip when he started to nibble on the column of her throat. It was all she could do to keep silent as she clung to his shoulders while his fingers and thumb resumed where they'd left off.

“You’re so sexy like this,” he said in a low voice, and she trembled in pleasure even as she saw two figures move into view on the sidewalk.

Sakura had never done anything like this before. Sex had always been a behind-closed-doors, get-it-done so she could move onto other things type of event. Something she felt she had to do for her boyfriend's sake.

Now, as she leaned against a house, half naked with an incredibly sexy man doing his level best to make her come, Sakura felt powerful. There was a small part of her screaming that Shikamaru wasn’t exactly single, that this was wrong, but she ignored that in favor of resting her head against the wall of the house and arching into his mouth when it went back to her breast.

Eventually, the passersby were no longer, well, passing by, but Sakura barely noticed. She was focused on the throbbing pleasure growing between her thighs, and Shikamaru’s whispered encouragements.

When she came, it was with a soft exhalation of his name. He kept rubbing her through the aftershocks until she collapsed back against the wall, panting for air. His hand disappeared, and she watched from under heavy lids as he straightened and moved both hands to his pants.

She kept her eyes on his face, fascinated by his uncharacteristically ruffled expression, which had a desperate edge to it, as the metal rasp of his fly unzipping reached her ears. Then his hands were on her hips and he was hefting her up until her legs went around his hips, the fabric of his standard issue jounin pants rough against her thighs.

His weight pressed her back against the wall, and one of his hands went between them. She still felt raw and sensitive, and when his fingers brushed against her as he pushed her underwear to the side her whole body moved into a shiver.

It was nothing compared to the feeling of him thrusting into her. The stretch was delicious, and sent waves of tingles up her spine. He wasn’t gentle, and as he immediately went into a fast pace that had her whole body moving up and down with every push of his hips, all she could do was put her arms around his shoulders and hold on for the ride.

She was being hemmed in and dominated, exposed to him as her small breasts bounced with every thrust. She, strangely enough, felt more in control than she had in a long time. His face was twisted into an expression that was close to pain, and his grip on her was almost too tight as he held her in place and snapped his hips against her own. She knew that his impressive mind was completely focused on her in that moment, and it was a heady realization.

The grunts and noises he was making were so masculine and uncensored that it sent a flood of desire through her, banishing the last of her disorientation. Sakura tightened her thighs around him and leaned her weight back against the wall so she could move her hips in tandem with his own.

The change of angle had him pressing against her in ways that felt incredible, and she made a small whimpering noise that had him swearing and picking up his pace. Sakura had never come more than once in a short period of time before, and that was always with her own fingers, never with a partner. It seemed as though she would be breaking all sorts of records that evening.

Her walls tightened around him, and he adjusted his grip on her hips, somehow increasing the power of his thrusts even more. He’d completely lost control, and Sakura had never felt more desirable or compelling.

“Yeah, baby, that’s it,” he said in a low, gruff tone.

Her fingers twisted into the fabric of his shirt, and her whole body tensed as she orgasmed. It was intense, akin to the rush she felt when she released chakra from her yin seal, or made it through the other side of a fourteen hour surgery with her patient still alive. Her body was trying to tug him deeper into her, her walls contracting around him, and she wondered distantly if it hurt. Then he was swelling and jerking inside of her, and, no, that was definitely not a sound of pain he was making.

Sakura stared up at the sky, taking in deep breaths of air as she came down, studying the blinking stars that had bore witness to what they’d just done, and couldn’t muster the energy to feel anything except tingling aftershocks of pleasure.

As Shikamaru buried his face in her neck and caught his breath, she scratched lightly and soothingly at the spot where his hairline met the back of his neck. Finally, he loosened his grip, and she unwrapped her legs and slid slowly to the ground.

He didn’t meet her eyes as he helped her back into her dress, and Sakura’s heart sank. She knew, of course, that they couldn’t have anything other than that night. He was in love with somebody else, and she needed to spend some time figuring out who she was without Sasuke.

Tomorrow, they’d both need to face what they had done. But it wasn’t, she realized with a sudden flush of triumph, tomorrow yet.

“Shikamaru,” she whispered, and grabbed his hand.

He glanced up at her from where he was straightening his shirt, eyes wary. She gave him a gentle smile.

“Take me to bed.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reality reasserts itself, as it tends to do. Sakura goes about the very uncomfortable task of dealing with it.

Sakura stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her hair was messy, her lips swollen and bruised. She had a love bite on her throat just above the curve of her shoulder and her makeup was smeared.

She looked...debauched. She bit her lip and tilted her head to the side. It wasn’t a horrible look. Especially after she’d dealt with the worst of her hangover by drinking two full glasses of water and helping her body along in rehydrating her cells with some well-placed healing chakra.

She should feel awful, she knew. She’d slept with a man in a relationship only hours after catching her own boyfriend with another woman. Sakura, however, felt anything but awful. She felt powerful and sexy and well-fucked in a way that she never had before.

Shaking her head at herself, she climbed into the shower. It’s not like she was trying to break them up, she assured herself as she fiddled with the unfamiliar taps until the water was an acceptable temperature. She wasn’t going for that at all, would never stoop so low.

Sakura also didn’t plan on ever repeating the experience. She and Shikamaru, she hoped, would remain friends, and that would be that. Right after she convinced him not to beat himself up too badly. If she had to, she’d take full responsibility. He’d been drunk, after all. They’d both been hurting, and needed comfort.

She didn’t use his soaps, or the obviously-feminine ones that had their own place in the holder. Wandering around the village smelling like Shikamaru or his girlfriend would probably be a dead giveaway of what happened to anybody paying attention. The most important thing, she told herself firmly, was to never let anybody else find out about this.

She rinsed off as best she could, spending extra time on the space between her legs before turning off the water. She made a face at her wrinkled dress after leaving the shower and drying off with a towel she found in a cupboard. She sighed and slipped it on, resigning herself to sneaking into the her office through the window to get to the change of clothes she kept there. While not wearing underwear.

She had to slap a hand over her mouth to hold back a hysterical giggle. This wasn’t _her._ Organized, careful Sakura didn’t ever do the walk of shame. Maybe that’s what was making her feel so giddy about the whole thing. Or maybe reality just hadn’t set in yet.

When she stepped out of the bathroom into the bedroom, her good mood dropped to the floor along with her stomach. Shikamaru was awake, and he looked wretched. He was sitting on the edge of his bed wearing only a pair of briefs, holding his head in his hands and staring at the floor.

He didn’t even glance up at her, though he had to know she was there, and after a moment of indecision, she padded out of the room and into his kitchen. She hadn’t spent a lot of time looking around the night before, but his small house was actually quite nice.

It was quaint, with old-style architecture paired with newer appliances. She reached into the cupboard that she had discovered held his glasses earlier and grabbed a clean one before filling it with water from the tap. She then walked back into the bedroom and knelt in front of him.

“Here,” she said, voice low and soothing, as though he were a distraught patient at the hospital.

He glanced up at her with bloodshot eyes, and she gave him a tremulous smile as guilt became a heavy weight in her stomach.

“Drink this, and I can help with your hangover,” she said.

After a long pause, he reached forward and took it from her, though his expression remained vacant as he downed the glass. She looked away from him after being hit by the sudden urge to lightly bite down on his bobbing adam’s apple.

 _Not helpful, Sakura,_ she thought.

After he was done, he set the glass aside and continued to watch her without emotion as she brought her hands to his temples.

She carefully fed her healing chakra into his dehydrated tissues, nudging the water that was slowly making its way through his system into the places where she knew most of the pain was coming from. When she was done, she stood and took a seat next to him on the bed, leaving a good six inches of space between them in deference to his discomfort.

Sakura cleared her throat as a memory of him thrusting into her from behind on that same bed surfaced. He’d taken her twice more after they’d gotten to his house, and each time it had been mind blowing.

His forearms were resting on his thighs, hands hanging limp between them, and he was back to staring at the floor.

“Shikamaru...I’m so sorry,” she whispered as all the shame she hadn’t been feeling earlier that morning made itself known.

Seeing him looking so dejected forced her to remember that last night hadn’t just been about her discovering the sexuality she always thought she lacked. Shikamaru was, above all else, a man driven by loyalty. She couldn’t even imagine how he must be feeling.

He turned his head towards her and his brow furrowed, and she took that as her chance to continue. She’d have to be careful how she worked this - he was too clever to fall for word games.

“I took advantage of you,” she said, and one of his eyebrows raised in disbelief before she looked away.

“I was feeling...not good after everything. You were drunk and in pain and I used that to convince you to - to-”

He snorted, and when she brought her gaze from her hands to his face, he looked amused.

“Listen, I think we can both agree that I wasn’t exactly an unwilling participant last night,” he said, and his voice was gravely and low in a familiar way that had her stomach twisting in on itself and her cheeks reddening.

“That’s not what I meant,” she said, then reached up and tugged on a lock of her hair impatiently.

It was getting long - she’d have to cut it soon. A hand holding a hair tie appeared in her vision, and she took it from him and gave him a shy smile. He looked a little better than he had a moment ago, though his eyes were still shadowed.

“Then what did you mean?”

Sakura bought herself some time by pulling her hair back, and chewed on her lip.

“I guess I mean...that you’re a good friend. You saw I was in pain and you - you helped. I hope you won’t beat yourself up too badly about it. You’re a good person, Shikamaru.”

She turned to look at him, and he shook his head.

“A good person doesn’t cheat on his girlfriend just because he had a few beers. I’d think you, out of everybody, would understand just how fucked up it was.”

Sakura blew out a frustrated puff of air. “Alright, then how about this: it never happened.”

She ignored his doubtful expression, and flapped a hand at him.

“I’m serious. We could spend hours of our lives crying over one mistake, or we can just decide that the past ten hours didn’t take place. You walked me to my place, I fell asleep after crying into my pillow. You came home, smoked a few cigarettes, and went to bed.”

“You’re serious,” he said. “I can’t believe it - I thought you were a by-the-book kind of person. Fairly honest as far as ninja go.”

Sakura rolled her eyes, but her lip quirked up into a smile at his return to his normal energy levels. Still lower than the average shinobi’s, but at least he wasn’t staring blankly at nothing anymore.

“I’m a member of Team Seven. We learned to throw out the rule book when it suits a long time ago.”

“I guess that makes more sense than it doesn’t,” he said after a moment. “Your team has always done what they wanted.”

He then sighed and rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand.

“Will that really work?”

“Sure,” Sakura said, and pointedly didn’t watch the way his lean muscles moved beneath his skin. “I won’t tell a soul - not one person. I swear.”

He turned his head towards her. “Swear on what?”

“On Naruto,” she said promptly, and he let out a surprised bark of laughter.

She smiled at him, the guilt in her chest easing along with his expression.

“I really won’t tell anybody. We’ll go back to being friends, and you’ll continue dating Temari-san, and you _won’t_ beat yourself up. Got it?”

He shrugged. “That’s easier said than done,” he grumbled, then yelped when she gave him a light pinch.

“Nara Shikamaru, you can let this ruin your life, or you can listen to somebody much smarter than yourself and let it go,” she said primly.

“Much smarter than myself, huh?” he said, and she tilted her head to the side and smiled her most innocent smile.

“If you’re so smart, why haven’t you healed the hickey on your neck, hm? I think people might take note of that and come to the not-erroneous conclusion that you were not, in fact, at home crying into your pillow.”

Her eyes widened, and she slapped a hand over the offending spot.

“Oh, I almost forgot!”

She leapt to her feet and ran into the bathroom to deal with it. She was peering into the mirror, tilting her head to make sure all of the discoloration was gone, when he appeared behind her in the doorway.

He had put on sweats and a t-shirt, and his arms were crossed over his chest as he watched her.

“You’re on birth control, right?” he asked bluntly, and she froze, blinking stupidly at him.

Her eyes widened as her mind caught up with what he said, and she spun around to stare at him.

“We didn’t use protection. Oh my _god,_ I’m a medic, and I had unprotected sex with you!”

His brow furrowed and he straightened. “So then you aren’t on birth control?”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “Of course I am. I got my shot readministered five days ago during my physical. I was also tested, and they all came back clean. Like I said, I haven’t slept with anybody else for over a month, so you should be fine.”

She cleared her throat at his expression of relief, and looked down at the floor. If Tsunade ever found out she’d been so stupid…

“What about you?”

He sighed. “I had a physical five weeks ago. I haven’t seen Temari for three months, or been with anybody else. So you should be fine too.”

Sakura nodded. “We really weren’t thinking, huh?”

“No,” he said, voice clipped. “I suppose this is why dad told me to never drink too much in public.”

Sakura sighed and looked down at her feet. “Shikamaru...I really am sorry.”

“Sakura, this isn’t just your fault. It’s not like you forced me. I just…” he trailed off, and sighed. “I never thought I’d be one of those guys, I guess.”

Sakura shook her head. “You aren’t. You just...you messed up. You’re too smart to repeat your mistakes, so we’ll just give you a freebie.”

She looked up at him and nibbled on her lip, willing him to take the out. Shikamaru gave her a small, humorless smile.

“Why is it so important to you that I let it go?”

“You’re my friend,” she said. “I don’t want to be the reason you’re in pain. I guess I’m just selfish.”

“Selfish is not a word I’d ever use to describe you,” Shikamaru said, and leaned his head against the doorjamb. “Alright. If it’s that important to you, I’ll try to forget about it.”

Sakura smiled, and his face softened.

“Okay. From here on out, we’re Sakura and Shikamaru, friends who have definitely never slept together.”

He rolled his eyes, though it was half-hearted at best. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t you need to get to work?”

Sakura’s eyes widened. “Yes! I’m going to be late!”

She sidled past him, ignoring the way her body responded to his closeness. He reached out and grabbed her arm, and she paused and looked up at him, curious.

“What happened...it doesn’t excuse what Sasuke did, you know,” he said, and she blinked up at his serious brown eyes. “He’s going to try and get you back - he’d be crazy not to. But Sakura, he’s no good for you, he never has been. You deserve better than that.”

Sakura looked down and shrugged. “He’s not…” she trailed off, trying to find the right words.

“I know how he looks from the outside. It’s just that he’s so unhappy still. I’m not going to take him back,” she continued in a rush when he opened his mouth to respond, “I’m just saying, he’s not a bad person, that’s all.”

It sounded lame even to her own ears, and he let go of her arm.

“I know that,” he said with a shrug. “I just don’t want him to hurt you again.”

“Shikamaru, a sweetie at heart,” she teased, and he sighed explosively.

“Just get out of here,” he grumbled.

When she slipped out of his window into the alley, she was still smiling.

She spent most of the day deep in thought, when she wasn’t cursing the still-lingering hangover that wouldn’t fully leave her no matter how much water she drank or healing chakra she used.

Shikamaru and Sasuke were all tangled up in her mind, causing her thoughts to circle around like two predators exploring each other’s weaknesses.

On one hand, she felt indignant rage and hurt well up whenever she thought about Sasuke and the intern on his couch. Then she’d remember the way her heart had clenched at Shikamaru’s downtrodden expression, how she’d tried so desperately to get him to let go of his guilt.

From the other side of the equation, the one where she was sympathetic to the person who had done the cheating, had made the mistake, she could see that they were all just fallible human beings. Shikamaru had been hurting, and he’d done something he shouldn’t have.

Sasuke, she knew, was always hurting on some level. Their relationship also hadn’t been much of a relationship at all for the past six months. They would go a full week without seeing each other at times, even when they were both in the village, and neither one of them was bothered by it. When they were together, he was sniping at her and she was struggling not to lose her temper.

She loved Sasuke, and would do anything for him. It just wasn’t the same love that used to make her heart flutter and her cheeks heat whenever he was near. She had, she realized suddenly, forgotten her promise to herself.

It was one she’d made just after she became Tsunade’s apprentice. She had decided that she would never go back to being that pathetic girl who set aside her own self for love. She’d learned her lesson about not fighting to live her own life the hard way - through blood and loss and pain.

How could she have forgotten?

Sakura was the apprentice of the Godaime Hokage. She had mastered all of Tsunade’s most difficult techniques, and was considered an equal to Sasuke and Naruto, was, in fact, one of the strongest ninja of her generation. Yet she’d just been stagnating, and ignoring the reality in front of her because of a foolish childhood dream.

When she glanced up at one point that day and met the terrified gaze of the intern who had been with Sasuke the night before from across the cafeteria, she made a decision. Sakura was done with men and dating, at least for awhile. She never seemed to make good choices when it came to them, after all.

The women she admired most in the world weren’t even married, so why had Sakura been so focused on it? She took a deep breath to try and relieve the pressure in her chest as she turned away from the intern and back to her sandwich.

She ignored the image of Sasuke’s face twisted in pleasure that rose up in her mind, and replaced it with one of Shikamaru, head thrown back and hair messy around his shoulders. His arms were looped behind her knees, and he was thrusting into her, swearing and saying her name in a low voice.

Sakura cleared her throat and willed her blush down. Well, that was a surprisingly efficient way of improving her mood. Her lips twitched and she shifted and crossed her legs. It was hard to feel undesirable with fresh memories like that one.

***

Sasuke was sitting on her steps when she came home, a bouquet of roses in one hand. He stood when she approached, and she was surprised by how difficult it felt to breath now that he was in front of her.

“Sasuke,” she greeted, and shifted the paper bag holding her wrinkled dress and heels from the night before from one arm to another.

“Sakura,” he greeted after a moment of hesitation.

She took in the tense set of his shoulders and the way he wasn’t quite meeting her eyes. The proof that he did care, at least a little, had the wetness behind her eyes subsiding.

“Do you want to come in?”

He nodded, once, and she walked past him and unlocked the door. She was aware of Sasuke’s eyes on her, assessing, probably looking for weaknesses he could exploit to get her to forgive him. Sakura hadn’t been positive that this was the approach he would take, but it made sense.

The team was the most important thing to Sasuke. They were his family. He was probably terrified of losing them over this beneath that cold exterior.

Sakura let out a small breath of air as she stepped inside and slid off her shoes. They were ugly things - white sneakers that kept her feet from getting blisters when she was working a shift at the hospital. Usually she changed out of them into normal ninja sandals when she left the hospital, but she didn’t want to wobble around while hungover in her heels.

Also, advertising her walk of shame would be counterproductive.

Her lips pressed together to resist the urge to giggle hysterically, and she continued down the hallway, Sasuke moving soundlessly behind her. She set her bag on on the counter in her kitchen and tossed her keys next to it.

Sakura needed tea to get through this conversation. As she grabbed the kettle and started filling it, Sasuke busied himself with getting a vase from the back of one of her cupboards and arranging the roses in it.

Sakura watched him as the kettle grew heavier in her hand. His movements were jerkier than usual, and his jaw was tense.

She left the tap running so he could put water in the vase and moved over to the stove. The gas clicked twice before lighting, and the sound of water gurgling as it flowed into the glass container filled the room.

The tap turned off just as she pulled a box of tea from the cupboard. Sasuke was leaning against the chipped blue formica counter in her kitchen, watching her. She continued to ignore him as she got out cups and her small teapot, arranging them on the tray and wishing that she wasn’t so tired.

“You didn’t come home last night,” he said after she was done pouring hot water over the leaves.

Sakura’s hand faltered where it was reaching for the lid before resuming its path.

“I wasn’t ready to talk to you,” she said.

“You weren’t at Ino’s.”

Sakura glanced over at him, eyebrows climbing her forehead.

“You went to Ino’s?”

“Yes. She threw a plate at me.”

Sakura’s lips twitched. Good old Ino.

“I was at a friend’s.”

“You weren’t at Naruto’s or Kakashi’s, either.”

Sakura sighed and picked up the tray, making her way to the table. He followed behind her.

“I needed some space, is all.”

“You aren’t going to tell me where you were?” he demanded, and for the first time since the conversation started she felt a flare of temper towards him.

She set the tray down with more force than necessary. “No, Sasuke, I am not. What are you doing here?”

She sat down in the chair and filled their cups with jerky movements. After a pause he slid into a seat across from her, studying her intently.

“You’re hungover,” he noted, and she closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

 _You want to end this amiably,_ she reminded herself. _Punching him through a wall is not amiable._

“What do you want, Sasuke?”

He shifted, just once, but it was enough to reveal the depth of his discomfort.

“What you saw last night...it won’t happen again. I was...wrong.”

His face was twisted into distaste, as if the almost-apology was physically painful for him.

Sakura couldn’t help it, she giggled. His eyes narrowed, and she shook her head.

“Sorry, sorry, that just looked like it hurt.”

Sakura took a deep breath and wrapped her fingers around her mug, swallowing around her nerves.

“Sasuke, I appreciate that you regret what you did. I’m not going to lie, it hurt. It still hurts. I wish you had decided to talk to me before it got that bad.”

He glanced down at his own tea, and his lips pressed together.

“But I forgive you.”

His head snapped up and his eyes went wide for a good three seconds before he visibly pulled himself together.

“You...do?”

Sakura sighed. What she said next, she knew, would define their friendship for a long while.

“People do stupid things when they’re in pain, Sasuke. You especially,” she couldn’t help but add on, even as Shikamaru’s face flitted across her mind. “And you’re still in a lot of pain from everything that’s happened to you.”

She ignored his indignant huff, and reached across the table to take his hand.

“I know you and Naruto think that nobody else can understand the two of you like you do each other. But you’re wrong. I know you, Sasuke.

“You must have been so scared when you realized you didn’t love me the way I wanted you to. Scared of losing me and Naruto and Kakashi when you broke my heart.”

Sasuke’s eyes had gone wide, and his hand was limp under hers.  


“It was selfish of you to cheat on me. But I was selfish too. I didn’t even notice that you didn’t love me. I treated you like a goal I had finally acquired, and I’m so sorry, Sasuke. I hope you can forgive me, and that we can still be friends.”

“...friends?” he finally said, and pulled his hand out from under hers.

“Yes. Friends, and teammates. I love you, but I stopped being in love with you at some point. I think...I think I always believed that love was a constant, something that didn’t have to be worked at.”

She turned and looked out the window as she gathered her thoughts. Across from her, Sasuke remained silent.

“I was wrong, though. Love needs to be nurtured, and you couldn’t do that for me, because you didn’t love me back.”

Sakura turned back to him with a small smile. “I don’t want to hurt each other anymore. We’ve all been through so much already.”

“You’re making assumptions,” Sasuke said, and Sakura blinked at him, some of the peace she’d felt after her speech fading.

“What?”

“You think I don’t love you romantically. I admit I didn’t treat you the way you deserve. But I do love you.”

Sakura gaped at him, taking in the familiar, stubborn tilt of his chin.

“I’m going to prove it to you.”

“Please don’t,” Sakura said, voice faint, and he looked surprised. Had he thought she was just trying to be brave, and give him an out?

Sakura had spent all day thinking about what she’d let herself become, the way she’d decided that _settling_ was all she deserved. It made her sick - sicker than her hangover had managed. Now that she knew, she couldn’t go back.

“I can’t anymore, Sasuke. I can’t do this with you. I want to break up, and I need you to respect that.”

Sasuke’s fist clenched on the table. “What if I don’t want to respect that?”

Sakura took a deep breath and broke out her trump card.

“Then I’ll talk to Kakashi-sensei about it.”

His eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would.”

They had a stare off, and after awhile he sighed and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. Kakashi was one of the only people that could still give Sasuke pause. Sure, Sakura and Naruto could beat Sasuke into a pulp, or at least hold their own against him, but Kakashi could actually make him stop and think about his actions.

“I’m not giving up,” he said, then held up a hand when she went to protest. “I won’t bring it up again until you’re ready, and for now we’ll be friends, like you asked. I just want you to know. I’m going to prove to you that I can do this right.”

In his usual dramatic fashion, he disappeared in a fall of leaves, and she was left staring at the spot he’d been, shocked into silence. Finally, after so long that her tea had gone cold, she groaned and clunked her head down onto the table.

That was not how she had expected their talk to go.

***

“I think I’d like to grow it out,” Sakura said to Ino, who was brushing her hair out and humming.

They were having a girl’s night, and Ino had begged Sakura to let her trim her split ends.

It was two days after Sasuke’s ridiculous proclamation, and so far he hadn’t shown back up on her doorstep. He had, however, sent flowers to her work both days.

The intern hadn’t met her eyes again since the day in the cafeteria. Sakura had overheard one of the other interns call her Miko. She was just as beautiful as Sakura remembered, but instead of being jealous, she just felt kind of sad whenever she saw her.

How would she have felt about all of this if she and Shikamaru hadn’t spent that night together? Probably a lot less understanding. It was funny how life worked, sometimes.

“Really?” Ino asked, bringing her attention back to the subject of her hair.

“Yes. I mean, it’s not like I have to worry about it getting in my way during combat anymore.”

Something like long hair wouldn’t cause a kunoichi of her level any trouble.

Ino met her eyes in the mirror, and her lips turned up into a soft smile.

“Alright. Your hair is so pretty, I always thought it was a shame that you kept it short.”

Sakura’s chest warmed at Ino’s words. It wasn’t aften that Ino dropped the brash, in-your-face kunoichi persona, and Sakura was thankful that she was doing it for her.

“I bet we could add bangs, too. Cover up that forehead of yours.”

Sakura glared at her. “Yeah, maybe you can grow out your nostril hairs to cover up that pig nose of yours, too,” she snapped.

By the time Ino was done adding bangs and trimming her shoulder-length hair, Sakura’s mood had lifted.

She looked younger like this - more carefree. Ino had put in layers that gave the pink strands a flirty, light look and encouraged her hair to frame her face in a way that made her eyes pop even more. It was strange to have her Strength of a Hundred seal covered, but Sakura had long outgrown the need to show off her power.

Anybody that didn’t know she could heal people on the brink of death or smash a mountain with a swing of her fist either didn’t matter, or would learn their lesson in short order.

“Is it...okay?” Ino asked, looking uncharacteristically unsure.

Sakura met her eyes in the mirror and smiled. “It’s perfect, Ino-pig. Thank you.”

Ino smiled. “Well, of course it is. _I_ did it, after all.”

She then leaned over and hugged Sakura from behind.

“You’re beautiful,” she said fiercely. “And you don’t need me or anybody else to tell you that.”

Ino could be overbearing and pushy and altogether too much at times, but she was also the best friend Sakura had ever had.

Later, as they were eating takeout on the couch and watching stupid action movies, Ino brought up the flowers. She kept her eyes on the container in her hand, and her voice carefully casual. It was out of character, and Sakura realized with a start that it was the way Ino always approached the subject of Sasuke these days.

“It must have been so hard for you, watching me stay with Sasuke,” she said, voice heavy with understanding. “I’m sorry, Ino.”

Ino looked up at her, and her eyes were wide. “The one time I said something -”

Sakura grimaced at the memory. “Yeah, I didn’t react well. I’m sorry. I know you were just trying to look out for me.”

Ino shrugged awkwardly, and looked away. Sakura leaned forward and put a hand on her arm.

“I really am sorry. Sasuke has always been a weird subject for me.”

Ino sniffled and blinked rapidly.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” she said, voice wobbly.

Sakura resisted the urge to apologize again, knowing Ino would only get annoyed if she brought more attention to her hurt feelings.

“I broke it off with him, and I intend to keep it that way. I realized that we don’t love each other. He’s decided to prove me wrong,” she said with an eye roll, and Ino made a sound of indignation.

“After what he did? Good luck,” she snapped, and slammed her container down on the table.

Sakura winced and decided not to go into that subject. Ino, Chouji, and Shikamaru hadn’t told anybody that Sasuke had cheated on her, and Sakura didn’t intend to spread it around. It would only cause a rift in Team Seven, and to a lesser extent, in the Konoha Twelve.

“I think he’s scared that I’ll abandon him if I don’t have romantic feelings for him,” Sakura admitted. “You’d think the idiot would have learned by now. It’s not even the worse thing he’s done to me, after all.”

Ino was silent for a long time.

“Your team is so fucked up,” she finally decided on, and Sakura let out a relieved laugh, knowing that Ino wouldn’t push the point further.

They went back to watching their movie, not needing to say anything else.

***

“Sasuke and I broke up,” Sakura announced.

Kakashi, Naruto, Yamato, and Sai all stopped what they were doing while Sasuke crossed his arms and scowled at a tree. It was the first team practice they’d had in weeks, and she kind of hated to start it out like this, but knew better than to let them find out some other way.

“You - you what?” Naruto asked.

Sai tilted his head to the side, and Kakashi’s eyes narrowed. None of them, except for Naruto, seemed overly surprised.

“It was amicable,” Sakura said, trying to get in front of the inevitable questions. “We’ve just decided that we’re better off as friends.”

“I cheated on her,” Sasuke said, and Naruto’s eyes widened.

Sakura spun on him and glared.

“Why would you tell them that?” she hissed.

He shrugged and picked a piece of lint from his shirt.

“My therapist said that relationships can’t be built on lies. They need to know why we really broke up before I win you back.”

Sakura’s fists clenched. She was going to kick Sasuke’s therapist’s ass. Since when did he listen to the Yamanaka that Tsunade had forced him to see every week, anyway?

“How could you do that?” Naruto was yelling, though Kakashi’s hand on his chest kept him from stepping forward to pummel Sasuke.

“Well did you ever consider that maybe I didn’t want the whole village knowing my fiancé screwed somebody else before we broke up?”

Sasuke’s arrogant expression faltered. Sakura shook her head and turned back to Naruto.

“Enough,” she snapped. “Yes, Sasuke cheated on me, and no, that’s not the reason we broke up. Well, not the only reason. I don’t love him like that anymore. We aren’t getting back together, and the next person who brings it up in front of me…”

She tugged on her glove and flexed her fingers, and all four of them gulped simultaneously.

Kakashi eye smiled and held up his hands. “No need to get violent, Sakura-chan. If you want us to stay out of it, we will.”

Sakura relaxed even as Naruto’s expression went mutinous.

“I do. Well, except for when you talk some sense into Sasuke, sensei. I don’t want him to pursue me. Tell him to stop sending me flowers and telling people we’re getting back together.”

“He’s not our _father,_ you can’t just tell on me -”

“Sasuke,” Kakashi said mildly, and his mouth snapped shut.

“I’m surprised somebody with such a small dick was able to get one girl, let alone two,” Sai said thoughtfully.

Sakura sighed as Sasuke drew his sword next to her. She supposed it was too much to ask, having everybody respond like reasonable adults.

***

“So Kakashi-sensei finally got him to stop sending you flowers, huh?” Ino asked as she snapped off her gloves and tossed them in the trash.

“Yeah, though I doubt he’s given up,” Sakura said as she marked something down on a chart, ignoring the general bustle of the hospital around them. “You know how he is.”

“Unfortunately,” Ino said, then moved closer and lowered her voice. “By the way, your test results came back - everything was negative.”

Sakura nodded. She’d assumed they would be, since Shikamaru wouldn’t lie about something like that, but still. After being a medic for so long, she knew better than most the potential consequences of unprotected sex.

That’s why she’d asked Ino to do the tests for her the day after she’d slept with him. Ino had assumed that Sakura was worried that it wasn’t the first time Sasuke had cheated and she wanted to make sure he hadn’t given her anything, and had done the exam and taken the samples without question.

“You know the whole village knows now, right? That Sasuke cheated?”

“I figured it was too much to ask for Naruto to keep his mouth shut,” she said. “Idiot, doesn’t he know he’s made it all worse for me?”

“I don’t think he was using a lot of critical thinking skills. In his defense, he didn’t directly tell anyone. It’s just that people could hear him lecturing Sasuke about it from miles away.”

Sakura snorted and rolled her eyes.

“Boys,” she muttered. “I’m sure they’re back to being best friends again.”

“Probably,” Ino agreed.

That night Sakura lay in bed, staring at her ceiling. As she thought about all of the time she’d spent imagining her future with Sasuke, it finally hit her.

Her life was never going to be the fairy tale she’d convinced herself it was. Her prince was an emotionally distant man whom she couldn’t allow herself to love anymore. More importantly, she wasn’t a princess that needed rescuing.

The realization was akin to ripping open a wound to drain the infection from it. Painful and necessary.

For the first time since she’d walked in on Sasuke and Miko, she cried.


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey, you should come out with my team tonight. Shikamaru just got back from Suna.”

Sakura paused mid-note on her chart and blinked up at Ino. “He’s already back? I thought he just left. That was a quick trip.”

Ino hesitated. “He seemed...pretty down, honestly. He also had a black eye and a limp.”

Sakura’s eyes widened as her heart dropped somewhere to the vicinity of her stomach. “Do you think -?”

Ino shrugged. “I don’t know. You know him, he won’t talk about it, he just says, ‘troublesome woman, leave me alone,’ when I ask, and then goes back to brooding.”

Sakura swallowed and pulled her attention back to her chart. Had Shikamaru told Temari what happened? The thought had her palms breaking into a sweat. She didn’t want to be the reason they broke up. She also, selfishly, didn’t want to have to face Temari next time she was in the village if Shikamaru had told her about what happened.

It had been a month since that night, and they’d only seen each other in passing. This wasn’t unusual - they were both busy people, and usually only hung out when Ino organized something. She’d almost been too busy to worry about what happened between them in any depth.  


Sakura had been on two awkward missions with her team since then, and had been focused on figuring out what her life as a strong, independent woman looked like. It was fairly similar to life as Sasuke’s significant other, actually, and when it didn’t make her sad it made her amused to think about how in denial they’d been about their feelings for eachother.

Well, Sasuke was still in denial, but she assumed he’d give up eventually. For the most part he just showed he was still trying by doing oddly sweet things for her, like opening doors and mowing her lawn. Her current strategy was just politely thanking him and acting oblivious.

Sakura did shifts at the hospital and trained with her team. She went shopping with Ino and Hinata and broke into Kakashi’s apartment to leave dinners in his fridge. She helped Shizune wrangle Tsunade and read books she’d had on her reading list for ages and figured out how to style her new haircut.

Sakura had realized after a few weeks that she was already a strong, independent woman. She’d just been a little blind when it came to her love life.

“So, you coming or what?” Ino asked.

Sakura bit her lip. She wanted, more than anything, to just pretend that she and Shikamaru hadn’t done what they’d done, despite the personal growth she’d achieved as a result. Mostly because she knew it had hurt him, and was probably still hurting him.

“Alright,” Sakura said, because if she was going to keep it a secret, cluing Ino in to the fact that she was feeling uncomfortable around Shikamaru was the opposite of sneaky.

Sakura put on a pair of black pants and a dark green button up shirt after work, then got annoyed when she realized she was spending extra time on her appearance. The last thing she wanted was a repeat of what they’d done before. The situation was enough of a mess as it was.

When she walked into the bar Ino had given her the address for - luckily not the same one from last month - it took her a few minutes to locate Ino, Chouji, and Shikamaru through the crowd. When she spotted the sheen of Ino’s hair she stopped by the bar to get a beer before heading over.

She gasped when she got to the table and saw Shikamaru. “Ino, you said he had a black eye, not that the whole side of his face was one big bruise!”

Shikamaru hunched in on himself and stared at the drink in front of him. His lips were pursed, and he didn’t look happy to see her. The right side of his face looked like he’d been smacked by a frying pan...or a large battle fan.

“See if you can get him to let you heal it. He was a total jerk when I tried,” Ino sniped, but Sakura could see the worry behind her annoyance.

Sakura slid into the booth next to him and ignored his flinch. When she reached towards his face, he jerked away from her and turned a glare on her that would have had most people backing off.

Sakura, however, was the medic for Team Kakashi, which was full of men who preferred to lick their wounds in private and would snap when cornered. He’d have to try harder than that.

“Oh no, you don’t,” she said, and leaned into his space. “If you think I’m going to sit here next to you all night without doing anything about that shiner on your face, you can think again.”

“Nobody’s asking you to stay,” he snapped, and Sakura faltered.

“Shikamaru! Don’t take your bad mood out on Sakura,” Ino said.

Sakura swallowed. Why had she agreed to come? Of course she was the last person Shikamaru wanted to see if he and Temari had broken it off.

“No, it’s fine, Ino,” she said stiffly, and stood. “A patient has the right to refuse care. I’m actually more tired than I thought. I think I’m going to head home.”

“What? No, Sakura, don’t let him drive you away.”

“He’s not. I’m just really tired. I did those back to back surgeries today. Sorry, Ino-pig, I know your life is dark without me, but I’ll make it up to you.”

She avoided looking over at Shikamaru as she slid her drink over to Ino in a clear bid to finish it.

“Bye, Shikamaru, bye, Chouji,” she said, ignoring Chouji’s and Ino’s identical looks of concern as she turned and made her way to the door.

Sakura’s eyes were annoyingly damp, and her stomach was twisted in on itself. Seeing physical proof of the consequences Shikamaru was facing as a result of that night made her feel like the worst kind of person. Now Shikamaru couldn’t even look her in the eye, and it was awful.

She quickened her pace when she left the bar, intent on getting home before she broke down. No doubt if she cried in public, the whole village would know by morning, and the gossip around her and Sasuke’s breakup that had just started to die down would explode into an inferno. Sometimes it sucked being famous.

“Sakura,” Shikamaru’s voice said from behind her, and she added speed to her gait.

She ignored his swearing and the sound of his steps speeding up behind her. They sounded uneven, and she remembered that Ino had mentioned that he had a limp.

“Sakura, dammit, would you slow down?”

She turned the corner onto a less used road that would take her almost all the way to her front door, and contemplated making a run for it. Before she came to a decision, a hand wrapped around her bicep and tugged her around to face a glaring Shikamaru.

All it took was another look at the bruise on his face to have the tears in her eyes overflowing, and she was distantly relieved that she’d already turned off the main road. His eyes widened in alarm and he dropped her arm as if burned.

“I’m sorry I snapped, alright? I’m just in a shitty mood and Ino’s been pestering me all day.”

“It’s not that,” she said as she struggled to stop her tears.

“It’s,” she gestured to his face and then covered her own with her hands. “I feel so terrible,” she said, voice coming out muffled and wet.

He was silent for awhile as she continued to cry into her palms. Then he sighed and gently pulled her into a hug. She didn’t lower her hands, but she did press closer to him.

“Troublesome. This isn’t your fault, okay? I tried to do what you suggested and just pretend it never happened, but…”

His chest raised and lowered against the back of her arms, which were still trapped between them, as he sighed. “Can we do this somewhere else?”

Recognizing the wisdom of his request, she nodded and pulled away, turning her back to him and wiping at her eyes.

“Come on,” she said in a trembling voice, and he fell into step next to her.

She could see from the corner of her eyes that his hands were in his pockets, but didn’t look any closer than that. The last thing she wanted to do was catch sight of his injuries and start crying again. She let him into her townhouse apartment without a word. He glanced around her small living room and kitchen area but didn’t comment as he slipped his shoes off.

Unsure what else to do, she motioned at her table and busied herself making tea. The back of her neck tingled as she felt his eyes on her, but she didn’t turn around. She heard her chair creak as he sat down at the table, and took a moment to splash water on her face.

 _Crying isn’t going to make him feel any better,_ she told herself sternly. _So stop it._

She brought the tea to the table, not missing the similarities to the conversation she’d had with Sasuke a month ago. Though she doubted Shikamaru would suddenly declare his love for her.

“So,” she said once they both had a cup of tea. “You look like you could use another therapy session.”

He looked up from where he was staring at his cup to shoot her an incredulous look.

“Isn’t your reciprocal therapy plan what got us into this mess in the first place?”

Sakura raised her eyebrows. “Actually, I think that was what happened _after_ our therapy session,” she said, and his lips quirked up.

“True,” he said, and lifted the cup to his lips.

She waited for him to say something else, but when he just went back to staring at and fiddling with his mug, she realized he was going to need some gentle prodding.

“So, you decided to tell her?”

His eyes flicked up and then back down, and he shrugged. Sakura ran the tip of one finger around the edge of her cup.

“You don’t have to tell me, but I’d like to help, if I can.”

Shikamaru sighed. “I wasn’t going to. I tried to follow your advice and forget about it, but I couldn’t.”

Sakura met his steady gaze, but she didn’t say anything. She knew that now that he’d started, her silence would only encourage him to continue speaking. She had plenty of practice getting reticent men to talk, after all.

“When I was nine,” he said after a long pause, “I skipped school one day to go home and nap. I knew my parents would be out, so I thought it was the perfect opportunity. While I was home - I don’t really remember how it happened - but I broke a vase that had belonged to my grandmother.”

Sakura leaned forward, unsure where this was going, but interested all the same. It wasn’t often that Shikamaru revealed anything personal.

“I decided to go back to school and pretend I didn’t know anything about it. My mom was really upset, but she assumed that one of the cats that hangs around the forest got inside and knocked it over.”

He sighed. “I felt guilty. So guilty that I started to have a hard time sleeping. My father knew, of course, both about the vase and my feelings. Anyway, he let me stew for a few days, and then he pulled me aside.

“He said, ‘Shikamaru, you can own up to your mistakes, or you can let them own you.’”

Sakura blinked back tears at his wistful tone. She was lucky, she knew, to still have both her parents. Shikamaru had never been quite the same after the death of his father.

“I ended up confessing to the crime,” he said with a small smile. “My mother was a total pain about it, of course. She grounded me and gave me extra chores for skipping school. But as usual, my dad was right. Despite having to face the consequences, I felt much better after owning up to my mistakes.”

He stopped talking and took a sip of tea.

“Your father was a very smart man,” Sakura said, and his answering smile was sad.

“He’d be disappointed in me, if he were alive.”

“No,” Sakura said, and he looked up at her, face miserable. “Your father loved you. It doesn't sound like he would sugar coat anything, but he wouldn’t be disappointed. Especially since you admitted what you did. That was very brave, Shikamaru. It took courage.”

He rubbed a hand down his face, then winced. Sakura bit her lip when she remembered his reaction to her attempting to heal it in the bar. She wondered if he’d snap at her again if she asked him to let her do it now.

“It’s killing you, isn’t it?” he asked in an amused tone, and she started guiltily from where she’d been staring at his bruise.

“Yes,” she said honestly, and he sighed.

“Troublesome. Alright, go ahead,” he said, and she straightened.

“Really? Because if it makes you uncomfortable -”

He waved a hand in the air, and she stood and moved around the table before he could change his mind.

“So you told her,” Sakura said, and he made a sound of agreement. “Do you feel better?”

She put her hand to his face, and was relieved when she discovered that there weren’t any cracked bones or dislocations. Just a very nasty bruise.

“Not really,” he admitted. “But now maybe I can stop dwelling on it.”

Sakura nodded, and didn’t miss the way his shoulders relaxed as the pain faded.

“So then, she broke up with you?”

His eyes darted to the side to take her in, and then he shrugged. “She didn’t say it explicitly, but yeah, I got that impression.”

Sakura lowered her hand and eyed the leg he’d been favoring. He grimaced.

“Just a bruise,” he said, but didn’t protest when she hovered her hand over his hip.

“You didn’t even try to dodge, did you?” she scolded as she discovered how swollen and raw the flesh was under his clothes.

“Nah. I figured I deserved whatever she gave me.” He looked out the window. “She cried. Not a lot, but...I hate that I did that to her,” he said, and Sakura jumped when he slammed a hand down on the table.

“I know,” she said, ducking her head and letting her hand light up green. She swallowed, hating that she was the cause of such a strong woman’s tears.

“I’m sorry I tried to convince you to forget about it. I probably made you feel like you were all alone,” she said, blinking rapidly. “I wasn’t a very good friend to you.”

He sighed. “You did fine, Sakura. You were trying to help.”

“I was being a coward.” She looked up at him and offered a tremulous smile. “But I won’t be anymore. When she comes looking for me next time we’re in the same village, I’ll follow your example, and let her get in a few hits.”

Shikamaru frowned. “I didn’t tell her it was you,” he said, and Sakura blinked up at him as she let her hand fall to her side.

“Why not?”

“Well, first of all, this is already a potential political disaster. Tsunade already reamed me out, and sent Naruto over there this morning to soothe Gaara’s no-doubt ruffled feathers. If we told Suna that it was the Hokage’s apprentice I stepped out with. Well.”

Sakura’s eyes widened, and the lead weight in her stomach returned with a vengeance. “Oh my god,” she said. “I hadn’t even - I didn’t even consider that.”

Shikamaru gave her a humorless smile. “Yeah. I didn’t have that excuse. I’m pretty sure Tsunade-sama is going to give me a genin team as punishment.”

Sakura was well aware of most people’s opinion on having a genin team. For somebody like Shikamaru, it really would be the ultimate punishment.

“Maybe I should tell her. Tsunade-sama,” she clarified.

“Wow, you really must want me dead,” he said, and she smacked his arm, ignoring his yelp of protest.

“Don’t even say that! I just mean, if you’re going to be punished for hurting our relationship with Suna, I should be, too.”

“Yeah, and if Tsunade-shishou finds out I disrespected her student by sleeping with her while I had a girlfriend, right after your relationship ended due to your boyfriend’s infidelity…”

His voice drifted off, and she sighed, not needing him to spell it out. “Yeah, I guess that wouldn’t go over well."

She stood, then moved and sat down in the chair to Shikamaru’s right instead of going back to sit across from him. Her brow furrowed, and she reached over for her mug and pulled it closer to herself even as her mind raced.

It wasn’t fair that Shikamaru was taking all the flak for this. Sure, he’d been the one in a relationship, but Sakura had been culpable, too. If she fessed up, though, the consequences would be much harsher for Shikamaru than herself. Yet, Shikamaru’s father’s words wouldn’t leave her.

She didn’t want to be owned by her mistakes, but she didn’t want to make things worse for Shikamaru either. She took a sip of tea and drummed her fingers on the table top.

“You look like you’re thinking hard.” Shikamaru pulled her from her musings, and she glanced over at him.

“I was just thinking that it isn’t fair,” she said slowly. “We both messed up, after all.”

He just shrugged. “Me more than you,” he said.

Sakura rolled her eyes. Stupid boys, always trying to do things on their own...she straightened in her chair as an idea hit.

“Oh! I know. I can help you.”

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. “Oh? You going to defend me from Tsunade-sama?”

She snorted. “Like I could. No, I mean I could help you with your genin team.”

Shikamaru tilted his head to the side and studied her. “You would do that?”

“Sure. I actually like teaching - I do it all the time at the hospital. My schedule will still be fairly full, since I won’t be an official jounin sensei, but we could plan team practices around it.”

She cheered up at the thought. It was perfect. From the outside, it would look like she was helping a friend out with a project he hated. Which was the truth - her motivations are what wouldn’t be clear.

“You’re serious,” he said.

“Well, yes, I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t,” she said, distracted as her mind raced with plans. “When is the Academy graduation, again?”

He paused, then, “Four days.”

“Hmm. Alright. I’ll try to take the next day off for their test.”

“Sakura, you don’t have to -”

He was cut off by her front door flinging open. “Hey, did the lazy idiot apologize?” Ino called, and Sakura sighed in tandem with Shikamaru. They shared an amused glance before Ino and Chouji walked into the kitchen.

“Oh, good, he let you heal him,” she said as she caught sight of Shikamaru.

Chouji shrugged in apology at their rude entrance, and Sakura smiled at him to let him know it was fine. Ino plopped down into the chair on Shikamaru’s other side, and Chouji took the chair Sakura had originally been in.

“God, Sakura, your place is so tiny. Why don’t you get a bigger one? I know you can afford it.”

Sakura shrugged as she stood to get two more cups. “It’s fine for just me,” she said.

Really, she’d wanted something bigger for awhile, but had decided to wait until she and Sasuke were married to worry about it. Now she supposed she was free to move if she wanted to.

“Though, maybe something bigger would be nice,” she admitted.

Ino brightened. “We should go apartment hunting together next week!”

Sakura poured them tea as Ino launched into a well-informed spiel on housing rates in Konoha. The Yamanaka owned multiple properties around the village, and rented them out for extra income. Ino would be the perfect house hunting partner.

They ended up watching a movie instead of going back out, all of them squeezed onto her couch. Sakura was between Ino and Shikamaru, and she couldn’t help the way her heart fluttered at being in such close proximity to him.

Halfway through the movie, Shikamaru shifted and put his arm along the back of the couch. Sakura knew that it was probably because he was uncomfortable with it pressed between her and his body, but couldn’t help the heat that moved through her as she settled more firmly against his side.

He was warm, and he didn’t lean away from her when Chouji shifted and ended up scooting both her and Ino a few inches over. When she glanced up at him, his eyes darted from her back to the screen. Sakura wondered if he’d been watching her. The thought made her cheeks heat, and she was thankful that the low lighting hid her blush.

It was, she decided, an incredibly troublesome situation.


End file.
